Saturday, September 17, 2011

.Tick. Tick. Tick.

Hi Friends.
I'm just going to start this post off by giving out a disclaimer: I am feeling a little sick, my bones have a little ache, and I may or may not be feeling a little sorry for myself today {I'm not peaches and cream all the time people}.
So if you don't want to hear a little whining, go to your next favorite blog {but then come right back because I kinda like having you around}.
So here goes.
Just a few minutes ago, I was browsing that lovely social media place called facebook. And as I was browsing {or creeping if I was being totally honest}, it was one of those days where every new picture posted was of some long lost friend showing off their brand-new pretty little baby.
And I just wanted to scream, "I GET IT PEOPLE. You make babies, and I am closing in on 30 and I still haven't made one of those little crying animals" {another disclaimer: I really do LOVE babies, so don't be scared of Auntie Erinn! I do not think of them as bad animals, but cute little panda's}.

See, I am beginning to feel the ticking of the Baby Time-Bomb and after watching a couple of my friends go through that I remember thinking to myself many, many, many times -  Erinn you will not do that to yourself. You will NOT!
But here I am. Ticking away. Tick Tick Tick.

And it's not like I even feel ready to have a baby. I mean, it scares the bejesus outta me!! First of all you brew this little booger inside of you. You have to make sure you are healthy and happy {no more indulgences in the liquor, caffeine, or sushi department} because this little nugget is depending on what you put in {and do} to yourself as it sits in its little cocoon and forms into a healthy little peanut.
Then you have baby and every ounce of your life is put into caring for it. Baby basically owns you and hubby 100%.
Little baby depends on you COMPLETELY.
How scary is that?!?! I can barely take care of myself some days! I mean, remembering to have clean undies around can be a chore.
Your life is changed about a bazillion ways with baby. And we really like our D.I.N.K. {double income no kids} life. Doing whatever we like, whenever we want too.
Am I ready for that??
Is Husband Ready for that?
Sometimes I think Yes. Sometimes I think No.
See, husband is a little younger than I. Not the biggest issue, but I truly don't want to take his youth away too soon. Now, don't get me wrong, P is no longer a child himself, he is responsible and works really hard, but I really have this fantasy of peeing on that little stick and seeing him smile from ear-to-ear when I tell him the news. I want him to be on-board 100% when I go through this emotional roller-coaster ride. I need him too be.  And I'm not sure he would be that smiling ear-to-ear man. Yet.
Another reason for my hesitation is some upcoming travel plans. Our friends are getting married in Europe next summer, June to be exact, and do I really want to travel with a bun-in-the-oven? Not getting to experience Europe entirely. Not tasting the Wine or Sangria in Spain or Italy? Not sipping on Sambucca in Greece. Not partying hard at their Wedding in England? And what if I'm sick? Everywoman is different when they carry a baby.....what if I'm bed ridden {yes, a little exaggeration, but who knows!}
Scary Wonderful Decisions.
When is the right time?
When will we ever be ready?
Now maybe I am just over-thinking this, or maybe I am just starting to feel sick. And when I get sick, I feel a little sorry for myself. And I hate feeling sorry for myself. But the questions of "when?" still looms....
One of our Engagement pic's by Pinksugar Photography
 So for the time being, I am choosing to think of all the Things I love about our No Babies life.
Things like sleeping in on Sunday mornings.
Things like late-night treat runs, movies, dinners.....basically anything late-night.
Things like spoiling our dog, Bella with all our love.
Things like having this wonderful happy anticipation inside of me of the day when it might happen and we are both ready and my pee-stick fantasy becomes reality. And we feel happier than we've ever felt before.
Things like lots {and lots} of free time all to myself.
Time to Blog.
Time to Read.
Time to Travel.
Time to Cuddle.
Time to just enjoy Us.
So for now, life is wonderful.
Just me, peter and bella.


  1. I enjoyed this post, as I feel much the same way. I think I am "almost" in the place where I would be ready to have kids but hubby is not, and I too want it to happen at a time when we both feel over the moon happy and as ready as a person can be! I like your blog, just found it through pinterest when I happened to stumble upon your boards one day and loved a lot of what you pinned!

  2. I'm Happy to have you stop by Joanne, and I'm glad I'm not the only one in this world feeling this way :)
    Hope you come again.

  3. Leanne StoneSeptember 28, 2011

    This is exactly how I feel too, as my 30th birthday is a mere few months away and I always envisioned myself having a few children by time I reached my early 30's. This is why I try to avoid spending time on Facebook, because EVERYONE is having kids, it seems except for me! That's how it feels sometimes. :(

    My hubby and I have been trying to get pregnant for quite a while now, but so far no luck...

    Thanks for your heartfelt post and for reminding all of us 'childless' women that we should embrace and appreciate the total freedoms we have now. I often forget about how lovely life is with having a D.I.N.K lifestyle :) and being able to do whatever my little heart desires. My hubby and I also love to travel and eat out and enjoy copious amounts of red wine. Ah, the beauty of it all! Again, thank you for the beautiful post!


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